Middling About

It may seem right and safe to concern yourself with every detail. What if, what if?

But it's actually a lack of trust and faith. In yourself. In the Tao.

When the word God becomes heavy and dogmatic, switch to Tao. The Tao has no priest or layman telling you to be sad and ashamed and guilty because the Tao is judging you.

The Tao is where you go when you calm down. The Tao is your new home when your anxieties and depressions stop pinging you between them.

When you stop trying to police and reverse every thought and when you ease up on how much you were governed by ignorance and desire in the past, the Tao can invite you for dinner or tea or a walk.

When you stop leaping between thinking you are better than everyone and thinking you are worse than everyone, the Tao leaves you with a quiet mind. Suddenly you might not have opinions anymore or evaluations of everyone you meet. No need to size everyone up.

An evening alone working. No pressure to master a craft. Only the learning of the moment. Suddenly not feeling like a fallen-behind version of yourself. No longer shadow boxing.

I am exactly where I am. A man let out of a rushing river of fear, into Tao's estuary. I walk slowly along the shore, Learning to balance.

Thank you pain. Thank you loss. Thank you fear. Thank you trembling in the body. Thank you cloistering labyrinth of the mind and darting inward eyes. Thank you ignorance. Thank you transgressions. Thank you insecurity. Thank you vulnerability. Thank you all the parts begging to be known which I turned my back on. I am here with you. Will you walk with me? I have dinner plans. Won't you join?